walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
