Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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