either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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