He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize