I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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