You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
