Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
