I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They took my balls.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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