WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
