Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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