Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
