My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
