i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
