pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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