I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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