Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
