In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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