Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
