Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
