She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
