I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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