Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize