I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
