I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The air was thick with penises
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
