So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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