I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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