Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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