Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
