we're blogging at a bar
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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