She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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