Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
