have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
