I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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