Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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