all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
