You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
