can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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