i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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