i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
