We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
