It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am midnight drunk by noon
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize