I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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