He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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