Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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