Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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