if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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