opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
