I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
