Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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