Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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