i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
