it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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