ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
