she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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