her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Send help, water and tortillas.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
