I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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