Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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