we have pet lesbian snakes
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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