people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
