Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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