look no pants
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
